Twin Souls drabbles
by kiroigenaya
Summary: I just felt like writing some Transcendence AU drabbles. its all humor. the romance is a joke ;D disclaimer! I dont own gravity falls or the transcendence au.


**the book.**

_Alcor pinned the Woodsman to the palace wall,their breath mingling as they gazed into eachother's eyes. suddenly the demon king lunged forward to capture his thrall's lips with his own,drawing small beads of blood with his fangs as he explored the other's mouth with his ton-_

the book was unceremoniously thrown across the room to smack the wall with a dull 'thomp' sound,acompanied by laughter and sounds of disgust.

"y-your face!" the young woman giggled out before bursting into more laughter at the pout and look of betrayal her twin brother was giving her.

"its not funny Mabel,its disgusting! how could you like it anyway,hes your husband for goodness sakes!" Dipper Pines,aka Alcor the dreamweaver,dreambender etc etc,griped at his laughing sister.

"that is something you will never know,for you do not posses a female mindset dipdop. phhht!" she said seriously before blowing a raspberry at him and went back to laughing.

Dipper rolled his eyes and popped out of the physical plain,not caring that the chocolate bar Mabel had given him would allow him at least three more minutes on the physical plain.

**the Woodsman.**

Henry Corduroy Pines stared at his wife as she grinned in a way not unlike that creepy old guy-Mcgacklet? whatever-as she held up a book called "Twin Souls: bound to the king" whatever that meant...

"so,you want me to read this whole thing?" he asked for clarification.

"yup! you have to read it! I've already gotten DipDop to read it,so now its your turn!" she said as she thrust it into his hands.

"sigh,ok,I'll read it."

he had no idea that he should have burned the stupid thing instead.

an hour later,hes reading in increasing horror.

_the Woodsman turned to look at the world around him. it all looked so different from before! not a minute earlier he was but drifting thoughts and raw magic,and now he was his own being._

_"ahem" a voice called from the edge of the circle that had brought him into creation._

_there was a man there. no,not a man,for this creature was far to powerful to be a mere human. there was a pull on his core and he realized this was his creater._

_"welcome to the world of the living,Woodsman." his creater said in a voice that made a shiver go down the newly named Woodsman's spine._

_"my name is Alcor the dreamweaver,and you will serve a very important purpose in the future." the newly named Alcor said in the same sly silky voice._

Henry stayed in his room reading the whole book by the time his wife called him for dinner. he didnt know why he couldnt put the horrific thing down.

_the Woodsman purred under his master's skilled hands as they traveled over every inch of available skin,and considering he was naked in his master's bed,that was a lot._

_Alcor chuckled above him as he watched his thrall try to move his relaxed body to have more contact with his pleasuring hand without moving to much._

_his thrall was getting more and more alluring as he made slight keening noises every time Alcor touched areas close to but not quite touching certain sensative places on his body. if his thrall kept this up he would be ravished sooner than planned._

an hour later and Henry Corduroy Pines had finished reading the most traumatising and mentally scaring book he would ever read. and he'd been given a book that sucked him into 'the little red riding hood' once,with him being little Red!

when he said as much to Mabel and Dipper the next day,Mabel laughed and Dipper turned beet red about the whole thing.

**the re-enactment prank.**

Mabel,with the help of her wonderful triplets,had managed to get Dipper drunk off dipnip and put him to sleep so they could do this brilliant prank.

they took their dad and uncle into their parents room and layed them on the bed,Dipper on top of Henry.

sans clothes other than underwear.

and Mabel replaced Henry's boxers with one of her more..._private_ undergarmets.

three hours later two girly screams and a *pop* and a loud thump informed them the prank had been a success.

**dont anger auntie paz.**

Mabel sighed as she watched her brother argue with one of her best friends.

"well if you would just _not_ insult every pixie you come across you wouldnt need to make a deal with me every thursday to undo somthing like this!" Dipper was saying to the currently blue skinned hot pink haired Pacifica Northwest.

"its not MY fault they have no manners! I just dont want them wrecking my mansion every other day!" Pacifica or,as the kids liked to call her,auntie Paz said with a snarl on her face.

"you need to work on your diplomacy than! like me." Dipper said with a smug grin.

"well I'm not the one who goes all over the world making deals with random strangers!" she shouted.

"wha-*indignant dipdop noise* you know what?! I'm not gonna reverse this curse,so there!" dipdop soud before popping out.

"did he just...*horrific snarl of rage through clenched teeth* I'm so getting back at him for this!"

"ooh! I know EXACTLY what you could do!" Mabel said with a grin she used whenever she had done something extremely clever.

a week later,it showed up in the Gravity Falls Gossiper that Pacifica Northwest was a big fan of the "Twin Souls" series.

sales of the books skyrocketed,and teasing remarks arose from those in the know about Dipper,Mabel and 'the Woodsman' being in what was _obviously_ a three way relationship.

Dipper didnt come by the house for almost a whole week. a new record for him.

auntie Paz had won this round.

**the triplets school play.**

Acacia Pines could not stop laughing.

Willow Pines was giggling a little.

Hank Pines was sprawled out on the floor of the living room,a groan of hopelesness and despare coming from the face he had buried in the carpet.

the reason for all this?

their school was having a play based on the disney rendition of "Twin Souls" aka "Soul Bound"

and Hank had gotten chosen to play the leading lady,princess Mizar.

Mabel walked around her son as she made her way to sit down.

"okay,so Hanks go-going to be princess Mizar," she said with only minimum giggling interference,"and Acacia is being Mizar's father,while Willow is being the leader of the cult? did I get that all right?" she asked with a grin.

"yup! I'm gonna look AWESOME!" Acacia cheered. Willow nodded and another groan came from Hank.

"this'll be hilarious." Mabel said as she and her girls cackeled (kinda) at Hanks misery.

"your majesty! the queen has given birth to a daughter!" a little boy dressed up as a palace guard said to Acacia,who was dressed as a king. fake facial hair and all.

"a daughter?! excelant! tell the whole kingdom they have a new princess! princess Mizar!" Acacia said in THE fakest happy adult male voice she could.

the curtains closed to go to the next scene.

"isnt this awesome boys?" Mabel asked her brother and her husband from their seats in the audience. they were in the second row,being the family of some of the 'actors' while the first row was for teachers.

"its pretty good so far,I guess" Henry grumbled boredly at her left. Dipper was floating next to her and didnt say anything. he was still pouting about this whole thing.

the curtain went up,and this time it was showing a girl dressed in a nightgown holding a sleeping baby. then Acacia strutted in with her impossibly fake voice and happy-go-lucky behavior.

"my bloved! how are you doing? how is our little Mizar?" she said in the same stupid voice that she KNEW annoyed everyone around her.

"shes good." the girl holding the baby said in a deadpan.

the scene changed again,this time it showed Acacia being sad and holding her 'daughter'.

"oh woe is me! my beautiful wife has died and left me to take care of my ill daughter,but alas she is to sick! she will die by tomorow!" she wailed in her best impression of Toby from the GFG.

"but wait! there is a way to save her!" she said with her character doing a one-eighty mood wise.

the scene changed again,and this time it was Acacia with the baby in the middle of a fake pentagram surrouned by candles.

Acacia was kneeling at the edge of the circle muttering nonsense in order to look like she was chanting,and then with a "bam!" and a "poof!" there was a boy dressed as 'Alcor' on stage next to the baby.

it was funny that this boy was none other than Jeremiah Gleeful,who looked about as happy with his role as Hank did.

"*sigh* okay,here we go. *ahem*_**WHO DARES TO SUMMON ME**_**?!**" he said as he crossed his arms and looked almost comically down his nose at Acacia.

it would have looked threatening to the Pines in the audience,if the two of them hadnt been the best of friends.

"I do! I beseech you,O great and powerful Alcor! heal my daughters sickness!" Acacia practically bellowed at him.

he rolled his eyes at her dramatics and sighed again.

"_**VERY WELL. I SHALL HEAL YOUR DAUGHTER,BUT IN EXCHANGE I REQUIRE SOMETHING FROM YOU.**_" he said moving his fingers in a "I'ma gonna get yoo!" way.

"anything!" Acacia bellowed again. what a dramatic girl. but then again she was Mabels kid.

"_**YOUR SOUL!**_" the 'demon' said as though it was the darkest of words to say.

"done!" Acacia said annoyingly cheerfully.

the next couple of scenes were of Mizar growing up and her father getting sicker and sicker as his deal with the demon coming to claim his life.

when it finally came time for Hank to be on,Mabel could barely wait.

when he came on stage he was wearing a long black wig and a long purple dress.

"oh. woe is me. I have lost my father. to the dreaded demon Alcor. oh." he stumbled out through his obvious annoyance and stage fright.

Mabel was giggling in her seat. she could barely keep from jumping in her seat and getting kicked out. *ahem* I mean "asked to leave".

a couple dozen hours later(acording to a bored Dipper and Henry),and Hank was tied up in the middle of a fake pentagram surrounded by 'cultists' the grandest looking of which was Willow.

"and with this sacrifice I shall rule the world! MUWAHAHAHAHA!" Willow laughed just like her uncle had showed her.

"you'll never win. Alcor will. save me. and you will. be defeated!" Hank really didnt like being on stage. he was worse than Dipper was when he was trying to become Wendy's boyfriend when he was human.

suddenly there was the same "bam! poof!" as there was everytime 'Alcor' showed up. and after the whole dramatic defeat of the villains that was classic Disney,it was time for the classic Disney 'kiss the girl' scene.

Mabel was vibrating as she held her video camera at the ready. Henry was trying hard not to laugh at the look on his sons face,and Dipper was making kissey faces (and sounds) that he KNEW Hank could see on stage.

the two boys looked so awkward as Hank tried to find a way to 'kiss' Jeremiah without actually kissing him.

Jeremiah obviously got impatient because he grabbed Hanks face and smooshed their'lips' together,although really he had covered Hanks mouth with his thumb so there wasnt any actual lip contact between them.

that lead to some cat calls and laughs from the audience though as Hank was blushing and Jeremiah looked smug about it.

after the show was over they were on their way home when Dipper turned to Hank and asked "so...how'd he taste?"

and that was how Dipper Pines got banned from going to school plays.

**so these are just a bunch of hilarious drabbles I wanted to write for the transcendence au. XD**


End file.
